so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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