my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
