I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I currently don't understand fingers.
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