i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
