at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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