At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
