I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
