I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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