He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
