Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
How external is "for external use only"?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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