I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
