yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Randomize
