mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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