home. puking in laundry basket.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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