Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
