hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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