I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
