He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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