do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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