awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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