and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
