This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
