I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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