Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
