It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize