I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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