Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
