If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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