he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
