i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
