end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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