I am spending my child support on dildos
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
