Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
