my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
