Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize