I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
PANTIES FOUND
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