I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
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