Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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