I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
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