Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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