38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
