I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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