Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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