Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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