So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
