fuck your aforementioned shoe
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
