I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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