You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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