I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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