Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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