On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
