Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
bring money and cleavage
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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