my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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