Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I think I just sharted jello shots
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
