you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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