Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
high people should be assigned attendants
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
