I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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