Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
