at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
