I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
