is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
