Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
