I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
