I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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