dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
