I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'm both gender and math confused
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize